The Vanishing Kind

25 Jan

Look at us…..look at us as a society. Are we kind? Are we generous? Are we empathic? I have pondered these questions for a time now, in my conscious thought and my subconscious being and came up with that the population of the USA has had a fundamental shift in their thinking which has climaxed in a rougher populace as never before. Kindness, generosity and empathy are now in the eye of the beholder and holds true if you are a believer in a particulars groups’ dynamics or not.

All three ( kindness, generosity and empathy) should be innate qualities and deep in our DNA or are they just learned? What is going on in this country as of late has me wondering if America is really the “Land of the Free” anymore. It seems to be that polarization is the new fad. If you believe that everyone should be responsible for their own actions, law and order and your own fiscal responsibility you are in one corner. If you believe in what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine, complete deniability of behavior and anything goes, etc., you are in the other corner. We seem to have lost kindness in word and deed, generosity in spirit and the pocketbook and empathy went completely out with mullets and big hair. I ask, what has happened? These three qualities  have to be reinforced through the young years. If you teach a child to be kind, they will be the same with generosity and empathy. If not, then you have what we have today no listening, no communication and definitely no kindness of spirit……. except of the gang.

The Trash-Talk Inversion

20 Jun

Throughout history every race, religion, creed, expansive thought and political party has been criticized, ostracized, banned, barred and outright disliked. Is this right? Is this wrong? People are people with human frailties and no matter what anyone says, all people trash- talk from time to time. In “The Free Dictionary”, trash- talk is defined as: n. Disparaging, often insulting or vulgar speech about another person or group. The time it becomes dangerous is when you actually put those trash-talking words into action. What that dictionary definition does not say is that trash talk can be non-verbal too. Action can take egregious consequences like we have seen these past weeks in the alleged (the policeman has not been found guilty by a court of law yet) killing of a black man by a white policeman that spawned the Black Lives Matter and subsequently the Defund Police movement across the United States and has now moved abroad to the United Kingdom. The “BLM” movement is a complex issue. It goes all the way back to slavery in the South when Africans were brought over to America to work as slaves. The last time “slavery” was an issue was when the Hebrews were captured and enslaved in ancient Egypt (does the song “Let my people go,” ring a bell?) and then again the Jews all over Europe were apprehended, put in ghettos, then transported to German concentration camps for some to be used and abused but six (6) million to be gassed and then cremated. Jews died because they were per se a stereotype, just like when people trash-talk or trash-think of Blacks are a stereotype. Everyone is a person of color, we are all shades and not one alike. 

Instead of listening to disparaging words of others, we need to listen to everyones song within. 

One of my favorite movies of all time is “Eddie and the Cruisers.” In that movie was the fellow who wrote all their songs and he was called “Word Man”. Anyway, to make a long story short and not give anything away, Eddie (vocal lead) was in a car crash. The “Word Man” was interviewed and asked will he write more songs and he said, “Words and music…you cannot have the words without the music.” This means that Eddie was the music. We need to find in all of us the music and embrace that and not let the “trash-talking” verbiage and thought lead into dangerous action. Walk into that persons music and outside your own.

The Journey not Known

21 Jan

I use to wonder why my husbands grandmother just gave up living at 105. I could not fathom why she would want to leave this world for a journey not known. In the Old Testament you can find numerous sources of how older people were revered, respected and protected. In this new age of advanced technology – younger is better and I can understand if you as an older person and not savvy in this area you can surely think that the world has passed you by. In personal familial relationships the younger generation would look up to you with respect….nowadays that is not always true. This generation seems to think that they know it all –  but do they?  They should, with the twenty-four hour news cycle, instant media in their hands and the voices heard from constant ear plugs. With all this bombardment you would bet they would be the smartest generation to ever have been born but sadly this is not the case. They know nothing of history only of the now. In order to go forward we must go back to seek out the truth behind our actions and claim if they were viable or not and go from there. Youth seems to think that going back is going into antiquity, but, I ask, is that wrong? Sit with your parents and grandparents and talk to them and not at them. Ask them why they have made decisions that they have instead of expounding yours with the vehement outrage of being righeous and right! In this clouded and angry enviroment we have made one thing that is abundantly clear and that is the ego has taken over and respect of wisdom and felicity has taken a back place. So, drop that phone, tablet, laptop and come to the table and talk and have a dialogue and you know what? We might just learn a thing or two about each other, life that has gone by, wisdom through age and progressive thoughts for the future kind.

Stuck in FIRST…..

13 Jun

I seem to be stuck in first….cannot go back and cannot go ahead. I have so much to get done and no inkling to do it and even writing has become a chore. I sit at the keyboard and seem to be sitting with my fingers on the keys with no thoughts, no actions, no nothing. So, I wonder, how do I get out of this funk? Afterall, I took the summer off to concentrate on just that, WRITING. When I look back and reread some of the other poems, articles and jotted down thoughts I see I either had a writing deadline, something happened OR I was pissed off about something going on. I envy the people who can sit down and write. A writer I know goes up to the office every day and when there is the adequate number of words for that day, creativity just stops and the keyboard gets slid into place for the same time on the next day.  Now I ask, is writing nature or nurture? Are you naturally gifted and can take a thought and turn it into action or is writing nurture where you have to have discipline, persistence and a good wall to bang your head against?

Meanwhile, here I sit stuck in first and waiting!

When I was not looking……….

30 May

When I was not looking I had a change in my philosophy.  I was not looking for it or even thought about it but my views have decidedly changed.  I have evolved. I have looked around and suddenly realized that for the first time in my life that I was adrift in my own island with no where to go, and no one to talk to and changes were needed in my thought processes immediately. I certainly feel that, as most Americans, there should be no homelessness or hunger in this country, good healthcare at decent reasonable prices should be available for the masses, a livable wage should be incurred, good education with a back to basics approach, and if you own a business, good for you, you should be able to run it as you see fit for your family, workers and community. So where should the alterations come in? Throughout my life, I have been subjected with wars of words — wars with my parents, wars with my siblings, wars with almost anyone who came into my orbit. If you did not agree, well what did you know? I have now realized that we must as a whole be able to communicate without fights breaking out, families breaking up and egos being hurt. We must as individuals, be able to get our views and points across without alienating. We must be able to live in a society where everyone is celebrated for their uniqueness of personality and thought and not be condemned for it.  Our government has to relearn the phrase “for the people by the people.”  No one talks things out because no one really wants to hear another voice but their own. I remember individuals, families, and our officials having dialogue and lots of it. We must as a whole relect on our way of having civil conversations without being offended. We need to see less fenses around our properties and more welcome signs and more manners. Definitely more manners.

When a rose = LOVE!

29 Aug

I thought I knew love. I know I loved my parents, Toby and Ben.  My grandmother, Rose, was the most talented writer and I adored her.Of course, I had the usually ying/yang relationship with my brother David and sister Risa with sibling machinations brewing in and out through the years. Even though all three of us were extremely different and span quite a few years between each, we loved each other shown in our unique ways. My Aunt Sheila, who was a hoot and a half,  lit up the room with her awesomeness. Anyone who really knows me must realize by now how I love my children Ty and Brett, each with their own looks on life’s meanings and practices.

But nothing, NOTHING compares to the love we have for a little seven pound girl who came into our lives on August 28, 2016…..the new rose for the generational change in our family, Cassidy Rose, who will propel the family forward.


Flaws Abundant

26 Jul

This election cycle is about two very flawed candidates. In November, we are to go to our local polling station to elect the more enticing one and if we do not WE are the losers? I cannot imagine anything so distasteful, however, I will do my civic responsibility and on election day cast my ballot.
With a critical eye at our political system, I feel, that the two billion dollars, to become president, would be better served if those dollars were spent for what is really needed, our infrastructure and the military homeless that have been left behind. Personal experience has brought home the fact to me that there are NOT enough doctors at the VA or in private practice that deals with post-traumatic stress syndrome which must be rectified. PTSD is an awful killer of our Vets. We ask them to do, see and be in the most horrific circumstances and then not have adequate help when they come from that theater of the impossible “war.” Whoever your candidate is that you feel should be elected, please make sure that on their platform prominently is veterans issues.

Come what may……

5 Dec

I have had plenty of time to really think lately, without the cloud of work related responsibilities. I have finally come to terms, right before this new year of 2016, that I will never be a petite size and have long luscious hair; be able to work like a fiend and not get tired; hear the voices or touch of my parents, siblings or other family members including my Stuffy L. and never really being able to treasure the “old” times and step into the new without leaving the back layer of guiltiness that comes along with being “the last” in my immediate family grouping.
I am now able to realize the treasure my husband (Ira) and children(Ty, Kelly, Sarah, Brett and Steven) who have been to me through the good times and the bad and the sadness in-between. My esteem goes out to my niece SuzAnne (Suzy to me) who like her father overcame a devastating stroke at an early age to become an outstanding mother and wife. I am so very appreciative of the friendship and love of my sister-in-law, Ronnie, who I now understand and did not always figure out. I am buoyed with the knowledge that age really does bring wisdom and the ability to remember that not all people believe as you do in love, faith, politics or living conditions. I cherish my old friends, even the ones that Have become crusty curmodgeons and value the new.
I have written this and am posting it now on social media before we all become involved in the holidays and all that entails. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah and have a good Kwanza with dear family and good friends AND may we all have a sense of love and peace that 2016 could bring.

Melody L. Gordon Adelman

Civility and Respect

28 Oct


   This election cycle made me realize very fast that civility and respect has been — not evident.  I believe I first heard it on the first time a while ago when a congressional representative yelled out “he lies,” meaning President Obama. Why should this happen?  Have manners and politeness gone out the window like a cage opened for a bird to fly?  The Presidency is the highest office of the United States and deserves admiration and esteem for that person who holds that revered position.  Why is it that the first African American who holds the office brings forth so much derision and bigotry in the populace?  Is it because it was always there just simmering on the surface waiting to erupt?  These issues are supposed to be long gone along with the antiquated notions of women who only belong in the kitchen, bedroom and not in the boardroom.  Nevertheless, here it lays deep, hurtful, and ripping America apart.  I definitely can relate to how African Americans feel about being different because I am a Jewish American and feels how antipathy works.  Some time ago, I had an acquaintance, who happens to be African American, over to my house for a meeting.  I was showing her around and in the guest bed room there happens to be two items on the wall that had her intrigued. One was of a cross stitch of a pilgrim couple and the other was a small “mammy quilt that I had put in a frame.  With eyebrows raised, she asked me, what that meant and why I indeed had that on the wall.  Without a beat, I told her I have them here so I can always remember that my ancestors (my Father) came to the United States from Poland  for religious freedom and we too were slaves in Egypt and knew how that felt.  As she turned, she said, “I see.”  If she did or not I do not know but I know because I saw from her eyes that “her” slavery was different.  I ask was it so very different.  Racism is bigotry if it is the color of your skin or a religion.  It still is there and shows that being discourteous and insulting hurts not only every American but it also shows the world how petty and shallow we are to judge someone only by their skin color and religion and not their character.  How can we, the United States of America, ever be an example and beacon to all nations if the people are rude to each other, do not respect another for their opposing ideas and cannot abide anything but white.

Politics A’Changin’

23 Jul

My politics must be changing.  I was just in my local supermarket that made my blood pressure rise through the roof.  At this time of the summer, I take advantage of the bounty that is offered and can it….can it….can it so in the winter the fuits and veggies of the summer can be eaten. Well of course I forgot a vital part of canning whole tomatoes and that is lemon juice in a bottle.  So off I went yet again to the market.  Standing in line ahead of me was a young Mexican woman in her twenties with two young children. I knew I was in for a longgggg wait when she started separating food items…..gallons of milk……breads…..vegetables which I think was corn and then various other items…..then out came the vouchers from the government.  Well the milk was for free, so was the bread and veggies which the vouchers paid for.  The other items which was less than $3.00 she paid for.  I frankly admit I was a little teed off at this point but I controlled myself because you do not know other peoples circumstances until I checked out and walked outside and saw the vehicle she got into………a brand new SUV…….that is when my blood pressure hit the ionosphere and I knew my liberal politics must be changing. I am not ready to admit I might be wrong on some issues but this food stamp business or whatever it is called these days, definitely, needs to be revisited to only Americans need apply!!